Tuesday, September 20, 2005


Yesterday, while at the Miami International Airport, I had some interesting observations. When I came out I told my friend I had to blog my experience. I do not think she believed me. But I owe it to her to publicly describe the atmosphere after having to explain it to her.

First of all, an airport has to definitely be the best place to people watch. I will debate anyone who dares to play the contrarian. Now, adjust your microscope a little, get that magnification lens going, and lets focus on one of many cells contained within an airport called a restroom. Why do we call it a rest-room? I guess we end up getting a rest from the internal pressure we had previously felt in our bodies before making the trip to 'that-room', but it is definitely not for rest. Well, maybe.

When I walked in, at first I noticed that it was a little bit crowded than usual. Not your usual social gathering place. Ally McBeal was a television show. This is real life, and not reality TV. But it could very well be. It was louder than usual. The main culprit? An Asian man on a cellular phone!! Speaking so loud. From inside a stall! Heeeeelllllllooooooo!!!!??? 'McFly'! Are you for real? Let me think about all the things I need to worry about when I am inside a public bathroom stall... WHOA! Who was inside an octopus? How do you make the decision to reach for your phone under these conditions? Worst yet; what makes you answer it? What do you respond when the person on the other side asks; 'what are you doing?' I am baffled by all this. What happened to "Im a little bit busy can I call you back?" Who was it? The President of the US? I felt like knocking lightly on his door and tell him he might as well order me 'combo #5' for pick-up.

But wait, I was only walking in. Once I reached my 'station', I noticed the guy next to me placing his tote on the floor. God forbid I miss. Then what; on the plane he takes the bag out from the overhead bin and places it on his lap to get something out? Gets to the hotel and puts it on top of his king size bed before he settles in? Hum!

As I was shaking my head, it made me think of men who undo their belts and un-button their pants to go. And you end up with this pitiful scene of someone standing there 'like a man' with his trousers looking like a winter hat over his ankles! If I had to, I would choose to put the tote down.

Finally, right about as I am getting to come out, I am standing behind someone in order to use the sink and wash my hands. As I approached the sink this image of Bill Murray in the movie 'What About Bob?" overtakes me, and I am thinking: why should I touch it? The guy before me didn't wash his hands before he turned the water knobs. Why should I wash my hands only to go to the box on the wall holding the paper towels, and pull on the lever that so many others have already touched with wet, soapy and lord knows what else, hands?

Definitely not a place to rest; "Cancel my order".


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