Tuesday, March 07, 2006

LIFE is NOT Fair!

"LIFE IS JUST ISN'T FAIR, so you have to stop expecting it to be."

These are the words of Dana Reeves barely 4 months ago at a benefit gala for The Christopher Reeves Foundation in New York City.

As I was driving to work this morning, I heard the sad news on the radio that she had passed away due to lung cancer. "NO!" My mind screamed; "how can it be?" And then I started crying. Crying hard. The kind of crying that contorts your face to the point where you look like a 4 years old boy crying. This, while in the middle of an early morning traffic jam. I hope no one was looking. But then again, who cares?

I have only cried like this during my mother's battle with cancer, and the subsequent months after her death. Since then, this has now happened twice. The other one being when my most treasured friend's mother passed away. During these times I have wondered about how fair life is. I have felt the pain the loved ones left behind feel. Ms. Reeves leaves behind 13 years old, Will. How fair is that?

And so I cried. I cried because as an only child I have been wondering lately how fair is it not to have any sibblings to support me. But I think about little Will; and how fair is it that I demand from life something than now in comparison seems very selfish and shallow of me. I cried; because in less than a year and a half I lost the two main woman of my adult life. My mom, who is physically gone, and unfairly, that treasured friend whom I do not share simple precious moments with anymore. But I do have my dad, who has become my life, and my years of adult life. At 13, Will doesn't have either of those. How fair is that?

My life has thrown many bents and curves onto my road lately, and the obstacles do not let me see the light at the end of the tunnel. In the last week alone I have lost my way onto my blog. Today Dana Reeves words get me here once again, and fill me up with confidence as she tells me not expect fairness out of life. It is what it is. And if you know me, you would know that I hate that comformist statement. Only 3 years my senior, she (along with Kirby Puckett, 46) remind me that life is short, and I must continue to be myself and give all of me and my love no matter how is it received or perceived. For if I was to die tomorrow, I would want to take with me a loving heart and not a troubled head. And I would want those around me to know that is what happened.

It would not be fair to Dana to 'hear' her messages today, and do nothing about them.


Blogger Lori said...

You're totally right....Life isn't fair.....But what can we do??....Just continue on and hope for a better day!!!


1:32 AM  
Blogger Cheri said...

What a touching post....I was upset too by her death. It is times like this that I never understand why? Life is not fair!

9:11 AM  
Blogger Fred said...

Indeed, life is too short. This story is a good reminder of what we have, and how we should enjoy every day.

It could all end in an instant.

6:55 PM  
Blogger Southern Sweetheart said...

What a moving post.....My mother had breast cancer and at first she asked "why me" -- and then only a few days later, she asked, "why NOT me"..... life isn't fair and there's no promise of tomorrow - take what we have today and live the life we've been given....

(Thought I should tell you I found you via an old comment on my blog. You left it back in early November. Remember reading the pizza delivery/pirate story? yeah, that was me, then I moved my blog to another url ..... the story is still there if you want to refresh your memory....anyway, thought I'd pay you a visit. I'm glad I did.)

1:37 AM  
Blogger Hale McKay said...

Wow. What a tug at the heart strings I felt when I read this, T.
No, life isn't fair. Sometimes it seems cruel.

10:12 PM  

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