Friday, April 21, 2006

What are friends for?

So what are friends for? Really...

Open this on your computer so you dont miss it.!!


I got to my office today to find a very nicely wrapped gift sitting next to my keyboard. "Oooh a surprise, I love surprises!" Especially when I really have no clue of who could have left it there. It was a very nice, wood frame that read "FRIENDS FOREVER"with a picture; my friend Dee Dee and I. I love it! How nice! I don't think I was looking all that, but that's how it goes. And of course, to the right is my friend DeeDee. I just called her last week to say that I missed her and was thinking about her. She is married with a beautiful 3 year old girl called Taylor. She lives almost an hour away from me, so is not like we get together often. But, taking the time to do little things like this shows she appreciates me; and Im down with that.

If you read my post regarding Las Vegas, you already know how my friend Reagan hooked me up with some amazing tickets. I met Regg on a trip from Miami to NY, during the winter of 2003. She sat across the aisle from me, and as she tried to fix herself a place to sleep, I let her have my pillow and blanket. Nah, I am not that nice! She is just too good looking! I do not know how Regg and I clicked, but when you are exchanging text messages at 0500 am, there has to be some sort of connection. That is Reagan and I at the Aerosmith concert in early March to the left. As I told her that I was amazed at how she made sure she got me those tickets, she replied "Ton, given the chance I know you would do it for me." Okay; I can fall in a hospital bed tomorrow and I would not remember the shows I saw, but those words would make me smile as I lay there examining my life.

For a single man there are few things that can bring as much satisfaction as the respect or recognition given by someone considered to be a good friend. Or like Jack Byrnes would say "inside the circle of trust". While giving the best of you without expecting things in return becomes the norm, and little or big things 'happen in return', it not only gives meaning to your life, but it definitely provides the energy to keep living at a higher energy level. We can say it provides incentive, builds up our faith in people, and most importantly nurtures everyone's personal growth. A friend, like an exponential, multiplies life's highs. But it can also multiply the lows.

On the other hand, while we should not expect positive things in return, we never expect our friends to let us down either. Look, we all are going to have disappointments, or we ourselves will disappoint; the character of a human being is not found in whether they stand or fall, but rather in how they get up and continue. Furthermore, we do not expect to be kicked while we are down, but rather offered the a hand, the opportunity to stand up. The opportunity to understand. Friendship should overcome any other human frailties, shame, fear, pride, etc. We would not leave a human being physically lost in the middle of nowhere. Why would we leave a friend in an emotional desert? At times like this the opposite becomes truth, and rather than uplifting and life enhancing the relationship can become very self destructive.

Recently a friend gave me a candle as a gratitude for helping her out and asked me to "everytime you light it, remember the many times you were a light to me". I have not done that yet. I have determined that I would only light it the day I realize she still considers me a light in her life. And by doing that, she will be a light on my own. What are friends really for?

10 Comments:

Blogger Southern Sweetheart said...

You always write the best posts. You're right on all accounts regardinging friendship - I think that's why we only really consider our truest and best friends our "real friends" rather than good acquaintances and we know that they number in the few. If you've found several people that you consider a best friend then you've really accomplished something and should be thankful for them. I am for mine.

It's funny you should mention the whole candle thing. A few years back when I was in Portland Oregon some friends of mine there gave me a circle of indians holding hands that you sit a candle in the middle of - on the same pretense as what you describe - When Michelle and Chris and the others gave it to me they told me that even though we were on separate coasts that I would always be included in their "circle of friends" and this was representative of that. Now, everytime I light a candle inside those indians holding hands I think of them. Maybe I'll write a post about that sometime.

Anyway, again, loved the post and the pictures were great too. Regg is beautiful and you're a handsome guy too. Thanks for sharing.

12:06 PM  
Blogger TMelendez said...

Thanks SS!

Nice post as supposed to my 'gory' comment on your blog about feeling the two bones in your knee rubbing together!! >;-D

I LOVE that idea of the circle of Indians... hum.. 'coming to an Ebay near you.."

Reagan doesnt know her pic is here. I have to tell her. DeeDee didnt like this one and told me to take that one out and use the one she framed. That means taking it out of the frame and scanning it. We'll see...

Handsome? I am handsome?? What about sexy??? ;)

T

12:48 PM  
Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

You sound like such a sweet, kind and gentle soul.

I can see why you are lavished with gifts, and kindness too.

10:00 PM  
Blogger Southern Sweetheart said...

Yeah, you're sexy too but I didn't want to be forward Tony! I am a southern sweetheart afterall. Did I miss the picture of DeeDee - I shall take another looksie! :)

11:52 PM  
Blogger Southern Sweetheart said...

Ok - so I missed DeeDee! Sorry. She's pretty too and there's nothing wrong with that picture. If I looked like that when I ran I'd let you post it! ha! But alas, I don't, so no worries there.

11:53 PM  
Blogger erika said...

You are so true on friends. I like the candle I never heard of that before.

1:26 AM  
Blogger Cheri said...

T-, once again, you remind us all of what is important. You are a true friend, a great friend and its obvious in everything you write. Thanks for being my great friend!! XOXO

1:01 PM  
Blogger Lori said...

It's hard to find a true friend....that's there thru thick and thin!!!.....Great post!!!

Another movie quote....You know after you posted that about the movie quotes....I realized I'm always quoting a movie....never noticed that before!!!

Have a great day!!!

2:46 AM  
Blogger sasha said...

Is that you with the blonde? you are a cutie! i had no idea.

11:50 AM  
Blogger Rrramone said...

I can relate! Thanks for that thoughtful post. :-)

11:43 AM  

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